As a blogger I’ve often held back on posts I wanted to write. I’ve told myself time and time again that no one wants to hear about the downs, they enjoy reading about the ups. They don’t want to hear me lamenting about how hard running and life can be with two kids, they just want to know that I conquered that 20 mile treadmill run.
Following the B&A Trail Marathon I received various emails from friends saying congrats, I don’t know how you do it, I don’t know how you have your life so together. For some of the emails I rudely never wrote back, or if I did I simply said thanks. How do you respond to emails when you don’t think you have it together? Do you simply say thanks and delve into why you think they are mistaken, do you say thanks and act as if you do have it all together.
As I look back on posts I can always tell when I am happy, feeling great, those months I post every day. The months I struggle, the posting is sparse and erratic. I’ve talked about it with my close friend Jess. She tells me that people can see my struggles through my words. They see that I’m not saying that I can do everything, they know I am humble and struggle just the same as everyone else. I wonder if she is right?
Lately I’ve been comparing myself to others. I don’t like it when I do this. I does nothing but bring me down.
I look at other blogs and wonder how come they have a million and one followers. 25 comments on one posting? What am I doing wrong? Am I inspiring anyone? Do I have advice that helps – or do I come across preachy? Do people read My Progression and see that they too really can do it? Do they believe now that they can accomplish their wildest dreams?
Lately I’ve wondered if this blog is really worth the time and effort that I put into it. It’s my heart on paper poured out for everyone and anyone to see. Should I be more private? Should I spend more time reading, drawing, studying? Is the blog for me or them? Should I care even if I wrote it and no one saw the words.
Each week begins by taking my daughter to ballet classes. I often contemplate if it’s worth the time and cost. Does she love it? Does she get anything out of it? Does she do it to make me happy? Does it make her happy?
I was feeling particularly discouraged the other day when a mother I have never met before asked me how old my daughter was. 3 1/2 I remarked. She is REALLY good at ballet. An uncontrollable smile covered my face. This woman had no idea how she lifted my spirits with one sentence. You think, I asked? Absolutely, she really is into it and follows all the steps, she gets up on her toes so well. It’s impressive.
Unknowingly that mother helped me that day. She encouraged me see that time spent going to and fro from ballet was not wasted. That money spent on ballet shoes for ever growing feet is not money thrown away, but money invested.
Money spent on running shoes is an investment in the well being of one’s self.
I’ve been feeling discouraged about my blog, about my running, about other things. I received an email recently thanking me for my blog. Thanking me for sharing my journey. The kind words of this woman touched me more than she will ever know. The part I love most about it is that she doesn’t know my current unshared struggles. She did not know that I needed those words.
I truly believe that God gives you what you need when you need it most. I needed that email.
You never know when your kind words could help change the life of someone in a small or big way.
Comment on that blog you read and love, tell that mom who looks frazzled in the grocery store that you know just how she feels, tell your friends they are talented, look for the good in people and point it out, give a high five to the person who finishes the race behind you, tell them congrats on a race well run, tell your kids they are not only beautiful or handsome, but that they are smart, stop lurking on your favorite blog and become a follower, let the author known that his or her time is not time wasted, share your journey – the ups and the downs, and remember that no matter what you go through in your life that you are never alone.